C'est la vie

Matthew 5:45 "...for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."

I've been pondering on the ways of the world. Sometimes, I feel like I've hit the jackpot. From the basic necessities (refer to Maslow's hierarchy of needs), i.e. food, clothing and shelter, to the superfluous details such as a supportive family, loving friends and so on, I have been well provided for throughout my near three decades of life. I have had a happy childhood, non-traumatic school years, both the opportunities and resources to further my studies into medical school and now, postgraduate education at one of the top universities of the world. Passable looks, maybe above-average erudition, a largely even disposition...what do I lack? I have every reason to be thankful! And lest I be accused of pride (although I do confess that it is one of my main weaknesses...or to give it its proper title, sin), I realise that these are all gifts courtesy of our Father above (as the good Book says, 'what do you have that you did not receive?' 1 Cor 4:7).

Even so, why should I be so terribly blessed? The majority world (aka the 'Third World') lives and dies not knowing how it feels to go to sleep with a full belly in a warm dry house with running water and 24/7 electricity, and to have access to education and employment that utilise their God-given intelligence and abilities. Why am I here and not there? Why are they there and not here?

Luke 12:48 "For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more."
(Or to quote another famous figure, 'with great power comes great responsibility') 

I remember a conversation I had with some friends back in KL. How I believe that the more apathetic we are to the plight of our fellow men and their suffering, the closer our hearts draw towards our innate psychopathic tendencies. One of the primary criteria for the antisocial or psychopathic personality disorder is a lack of empathy. 'Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard' Pro 21:13. Just as in the poem First they came..., in which the poet laments the willful ignorance of the wider German populace to the growing oppression of various subgroups by the rising Nazi party, eventually to its very own detriment.

TED: Photos that bear witness to modern slavery - the link is to a video of an American photojournalist who chronicled examples of 21st-century slavery in Ghana, India and Nepal. I become restless when I hear of the injustices that mar this earth we call home, the monstrosities that we allow to exist simply by our doing nothing! Do you think that we will be found innocent of the blood of our brothers and sisters simply because we were not directly culpable?

Matthew 25:41-45 "Then He will also say to those on the left hand, 'Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.' Then they also will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?' Then He will answer them, saying, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.'"

I get twinges of guilt for being so comfortable cocooned in my beautiful house in Melbourne, planning for my holiday in Brazil for the upcoming FIFA World Cup followed by the big move to the States for my Master of Public Health program...I don't (yet) know what I can do to remedy such a situation. But I know that God has placed us wherever we may be, whether in the here and now or in the nebulous future, to serve Him in whatever capacity that pleases Him. I know that He wants us to be His hands and feet to reach the broken and the dying, His light in the darkness encroaching upon our benighted neighbours, and His voice to break the deafening silence surrounding our weaker brethren. To remind them - and us - that we are not alone. That He sees. And that He remembers.  

Psalm 9:18 For the needy shall not always be forgotten; the expectation of the poor shall not perish forever.

Immortality - or the lack thereof

I know I haven't written in a while...it's been a crazy few months, as my family can testify. My dear grandmother (or ah ma, as I call - or used to call - her) passed away on the 2nd of February after seven weeks of hospitalisation following a stroke. So she spent Christmas, both the Chinese and English/Western/Gregorian new year in Pantai Hospital. The first three weeks of my time back in KL was mostly spent with her as we took turns looking after her as she was no longer able to sit unaided, let alone stand or walk, and she also lost her powers of speech and swallowing. The photo's from almost a year back, the last time I saw her with her body and mind relatively intact.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Quite a few people ask me about my experience in South Sudan, in particular, how I dealt with so many deaths and usually that of children as young as newborns. There's never an easy way, especially if the little one was admitted for a while and rapport's been built with the child and his/her family. I saw more deaths in a month there than I saw in my previous two years working in major metropolitan Melbourne hospitals. Some (including myself at times) might argue that one has to preserve an emotional detachment, ensure a mental distance, if only to preserve one's sanity. That's the fine line, the balance, between empathy and heartbreak or burn-out. It's hard...and even harder when it's flesh and blood in question.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

How do I resolve this? The knowledge that it is better to let go of a loved one who is in pain or suffering but at the same time trusting that God is sovereign and that it is in His perfect timing that we return to Him? As the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 1:23, "I am hard pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better". There are so many wonderful things, wondrous even, in this world; but they would be easily eclipsed by the joys that await us in the afterlife, and only a lackwit could gloss over all the disappointment, sorrows and injustice that coexist. Besides, it is there that we will finally see Him, our Immortal Beloved, face to face.

1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written: 'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.'

Grief is a funny thing...so to speak. It can be selfish in essence. It can be buried underneath so many layers of the humdrum of daily life but always at the edge of perception like a niggling feeling or an itch that never really goes away. I wish ah ma was still here with us...but I wouldn't wish her to live the rest of her life completely dependent on others for even the most basic necessities of life. No longer able to savour the taste of food or drink, instead being fed questionable-looking fluids through a nasogastric tube. Unable to articulate any thoughts, only able to communicate through frustrated grunts. Bedbound, unable to ambulate to the toilet and having diapers changed by strangers. My God, it's not a fate I would wish on anyone. But still, she may have recovered some semblance of function, albeit at a painfully slow pace. In the end, not my will but Yours be done.

Romans 8:31-39 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: 'For Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.' Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If it was part of His plans, He will provide, His grace is always sufficient. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health. For better, for worse.